I work at a company that I consider LGBT-friendly. They have an LGBT affinity group, have events at the cafeteria during Pride Month to highlight important LGBT people, and I had no trouble registering my boyfriend as a domestic partner for health benefits. But one thing that doesn’t fit in that environment, and which I don’t really blame my employer for, but nevertheless is one of those situations when I don’t feel comfortable, is blood drives.

As of 1985, no man who’s had sexual contact with another man since 1977 is allowed to be a blood donor. It is a mandate for the Red Cross that the FDA has been asked to reconsider almost every year and every time they still refuse to back away “in the interest of public health.” A straight person who has frequent one night stands is considered less of a public health risk than a gay man who’s been in a monogamous relationship for ten years or a man who had sex with another man once, 30 years ago.

This law basically requires that a gay man be honest and not go to a blood drive pretending he’s straight (something I wouldn’t do out of principle but also because I’m a horrible liar). Why can’t this same level of honesty be expected from gay men about their behavior? Instead of excluding an entire population of people, the law should instead require honesty about individuals’ actions, actions that could be applied to both gays and straights.

I’d like to donate blood. I think I’m an extremely good candidate, more so than a lot of straight people I know. This is why it bothers me when I see posters at work urging me to donate, get emails reminding me about a blood drive in our cafeteria and hear employees talk about having donated blood, without any acknowledgment that all gay men in the company are excluded.

I read a good idea somewhere. Blood drives should let “ineligible” people sign a form each time they would have normally donated blood. Gay men could at least participate by making the government aware of their numbers and see how much blood is being rejected, perhaps making them reconsider if the form gives people a chance to explain what makes them good candidates. And by having people at company blood drives aware of this issue, supporting employees by making this an option, there would be one more thing companies would could tick off to be more LGBT-friendly.